I started this blog because I figured my first semester at a "real" school would prompt me to need release.
Now, as the semester winds to a close (including a lovely snow day today that keeps me out of reviewing for the final with one of my classes) I look back at the sparse amount of posting I've done on here.
The snow day allowed me to think about this, consider this phenomenon. I am a girl who seeks reflection and writing has always been my method of choice. I've always very much lived "inside my head." Thinking, reflecting, considering.
What I learned this year is teaching is not conducive to this lifestyle I was once used to.
First, reflection means I would have to come to terms with all the failure of this semester. Not just come to terms with it, but come to terms with it while I'm also pushing forward trying to keep going. Come to terms with it while trying to keep on top of paperwork and while dealing with meetings and extra curriculars--while dealing with teenage attitudes and faculty drama.
Even though it is my second year of teaching, it becomes increasingly, glaringly obvious that my job last year was cake. This year is a struggle--and while I have a great support group who are going through the same thing and help ease the frustration--to put reflection on top of it WHILE I'm doing it, just isn't feasible for me.
I'll regroup over Christmas break, reflect on Semester 1 and what worked and what didn't and hope that I can apply some lessons I've learned to second semester so that I CAN reflect WHILE I teach.