Then...

Monday we went back.  First hour and I snapped.  The two week break did nothing to ease my frustration at their lack of effort, their lack of respect, and most of all their inability to SHUT UP once in a while.  I may have forgotten about it for two weeks, but those first ten minutes brought it all rushing back so fast I could feel my head snap back.

So, as the girls discussed their schedules in voices that were just as loud as mine trying to explain directions, I lost it and said so.  I said if I heard one more word about their schedule I would lose it even further.  I said the break didn't rejuvenate me--it irritated me even more that they couldn't follow simple instructions.  I said that we were going to focus on following simple directions since that was a skill they showed me they had yet to master.  

Then we had a snow day yesterday, which honestly wasn't much of a help as I was planning on yesterday to get some things done.  

Last night I had a dream that I was one of those kick ass teachers.  They're tough, they're structured to a T, but they are respected and the students learn.  Then, I woke up and realized I am just a moody teacher who loses her cool and can't seem to translate that into a teachable moment.  And I'm not sure I'll ever cross that bridge kick ass.